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...and over-consumption of alcohol is still one of the most unavoidable bodily consequences known to man.

Mother nature always seems to come out on top. She consistently finds a way to make everything balance out, and a perfect example is The Hangover. Why can’t we get trashed at night, and then feel great the next morning? Why couldn’t the morning-after consequences of alcohol be something other than sickness, dizziness, and an inability to remember the night before? For example, why couldn't we wake up fresh and clear-headed

But that doesn’t happen, does it? Momma Nature isn’t that stupid. The hangover is the one thing that makes us think twice about really whacking our brains out because we all know the simple math equation that follows:

I didn’t have to take advanced calculus to figure that one out.

I used to do the rhyming thing that everyone learns in college. It goes, “Beer before liquor, never been sicker. Liquor before beer, you’re in the clear.” Apparently we thought that as long as it rhymed, we were gonna be alright. However, after 4 long years of extensive, painstaking research on the matter, I’ve learned it’s not true. And of course, I personally believe that the worst hangovers are the ones when you have something important to do in the morning. things like, exms haha

The real problem with television is that it doesn't suck.

I mean, sure, 95% of it does, but there are plenty of programs which are creative, interesting, funny, dramatic, moving, etc. If there's nothing on, there are countless movies you can rent and watch.

The problem is that television gives you the illusion of connection to other people and to
the world. No matter how empty and pathetic your own life might be, you can turn on the television and let the stories and emotions wash over you. Movies and tv programs let you get to know their characters in intimate detail, you seem to share the most important experiences of their lives, as they fall in love, fight wars, cure diseases, defeat alien invaders, whatever.

But of course, it's a false intimacy. You don't know these people, the characters and
events you're experiencing probably never even existed, and even if they did
they're still not part of your life and never will be. Meanwhile, your own life still sucks.
You just don't know it for a couple hours, while you watch The Simpsons or Southpark. You feel as if you had experiences which were exciting, funny, tragic,
meaningful, but really you just spent the afternoon staring into a box.

So it's probably a good thing that the vast majority of tv programs and movies are crap.
Think of your favorite movies and tv shows, your favorite actors, and imagine what it
would be like if they were ALL that good. What if every show, all day and all night, was powerfully moving, funny, entertaining? What if you could turn to any channel, anytime,
and whatever was on was as good as the best movie you've ever seen?

Dang, we'd never be able to tear ourselves away from the tv then, we'd give up on the
real world entirely and spend our whole lives staring into the stupid box. So be glad that tv sucks.
Haha, I'm very random aren't I...

From all of us who aren't in love to all of you couples out there, I have one message... Cut it out!

Forgive me for my cynicism, but we all know it's not gonna last. Sure, you go around for a while with that stupid grin on your faces, talking sweet to each other, and holding hands. But in a few months where are you going to be? Married? Living together? You bet!!!

I have to endure not hearing from the person for weeks. Then, when I get him out alone, he's getting up every thirty minutes to call his gf and say "No, I love you more." At least this is a pleasant respite from listening to him talk about when his significant other said or did the sweetest thing. But what do I get in return for putting up with this? Puke duty? If only life was that fair.

And he does so direly want me to be great friends with his new flame. he set up a special evening so I can get to know this love of his life. "You two have so much in common..." Like what? We both have all our own teeth? Neither of us has 2 left ears? We're both from the planet earth? The reality is that we disagree on everything. The only thing we do have in common is that by the end of the night we're both ready to ask "what the hell were you thinking when you hooked up with that person?"

Okay, so maybe this time it's gonna work. Perhaps the days of puke duty are over. Perhaps he has even learned not to fix us up. But this is only a portion of what a person inflicts upon the world when he's in love. Yes, you know what I'm talking about. Better known by their acronym, PDA, public displays of affection. Awwwwwwwwwwwwww 

Have you yet realized how much you couples annoy your single friends? Have I yet made my case for declaring anyone who falls in love incapable of managing their affairs with a modicum of sensibility?

But then I remember the last time I fell in love. I remember exactly how I behaved. And I think sometimes that if falling in love makes you stupid, I want to be an idiot for the rest of my life. So, as Valentine's day approaches and passes, my message to couples out there is to realize how lucky you are and as you spend that special evening together and you look into the eyes of that person who has made you feel like you went from a half to a whole, I just want you to remember these three little words... get a room!!